Reflection: Managing energy

Being an introvert is often defined as drawing one’s energy from being alone - introspecting, taking things in without being expected to perform, speak, or converse. Recently, introverted leadership has garnered increased attention around the world, because there is more and more evidence that — contrary to popular or prior belief - introverts can thrive in leadership positions. If you look up “introverted leader,” you’ll find mentions of such qualities as being a very good listener and being calm under pressure. It seems like this conflates a number of character traits, but perhaps there’s a correlation.

Is it o.k. to be in a leadership position, but still draw your energy from quiet alone time? I believe the answer is absolutely yes. In this post, I will speak a bit from my personal experience and how I manage my energy while still showing up for my team, my org, and my company. In my position, I spend a lot of time talking to people: be it internally with my team, externally with customers, or with leaders from other parts of the organization.

In an average week, I spend perhaps 20-30 hours in meetings of some kind. This includes meetings with my team around the world, customer meetings, and so forth. Sometimes I attend summits or visit one of our teams in another office; during those times, my meeting load increases and sometimes includes dinners. Yet I know that I can show up best when I have lots of down time to recharge, deal with offline work (documents, presentations, emails, approvals, etc.), and simply have time to think and reflect. While some people may not feel productive when they have too much meeting-free time, for me it is critical to have that time. What stresses me more than anything is having people wait for me on something, e.g, an approval, a decision, or an opinion. 

How do I manage?

1. I’m a morning person, and I take advantage of this by getting up 1–2 hours early to triage, reflect, and prepare for the day. Some mornings I go on a run. Some mornings I work on documents or emails.

2. I often have lunch alone. The heresy! People often wonder about this, and I am sure some people find this strange and unwelcoming from a leader. I use this time to let my mind settle. Honestly, I usually spend that time answering emails (see above: it stresses me out when people are waiting on me for something, so this process calms me).

3. I am mindful about what work dinners I sign up for. I see the value and do attend them when it makes sense, and I often enjoy my colleagues’ or customers' company! But unlike earlier in my career, I am now more selective, because I see the effects that spending a long evening can have on the rest of the week. A free fancy dinner isn't enough of a draw for me now -- my colleagues and customers are.

Over the course of my career, I am sure that this approach has caused some friction, raised eyebrows, and — for all I know — missed opportunities. But it works for me: it reflects who I am and what I can bring to the table. For example, in exchange for work dinners, I bring solid preparation for customer-facing talks because I would rather do another practice round and get a good night’s sleep.

How can you make this work for you?

1. Set your boundaries — but understand what your role requires. This is not a manifesto of “you do you!”, because every job has different requirements. E.g., if you are in a customer-care type of role, minimizing work dinners is likely not a good option for you, your customers, or your business. But set boundaries that make sense for you in your role. This may require some experimentation and flexibility. You also can’t expect to get 100% “you do you!” in any role, so be attentive to what the business needs and whether you are in the right role.

2. Reassess periodically. Every few months, I reassess whether my approach still works: for me, for what is required in my role (especially as it evolves), for my mental health, and for my stress level. Then I adjust accordingly. 

3. Find others to brainstorm solutions with. The two points above are easier said than done. For example, it took me years of experimenting to finally come to a formula that works for me in the mornings so that I can balance sleep, family breakfast, school drop-off, and what my role and team needs. Sometimes it takes talking to a good coach to brainstorm solutions, as happened with me! I knew something needed to change, but I kept going in circles in my head about what was in the way, rather than focusing on the possibilities of what I could change. Be creative!

Managing energy means thriving even when things are difficult.